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 Should I say something or should I stay silent?

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SilenceisKey?
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PostSubject: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   April 25th 2014, 4:28 pm

My sister and her boyfriend have been together for 5 years.  Two weeks ago I was at the movies with my friend girl and we ran into my sister's boyfriend.  Let's just call my sister's boyfriend Joe.  Joe was leaving the movies as my friend girl and I was walking in to the movies.  So we all stopped to say hello, but my friend girl kept going as she had to use the bathroom.  So Joe and I were just chatting and I noticed he kept looking down in my stomach area.  I had on a short top and a mini-skirt so my navel was showing.  All of a sudden he just reached down and grazed his finger across my navel asking me is that hair on my stomach.  So I grabbed his had to push it away and he grabbed my hand instead.  Then he said no need to feel offended I just think hair like that is sexy on a woman.  I was so stunned I didn't know what to say.  Then he said, look, this is not a come on, I'm just saying.  Before he could say another word, I just left in the middle of him talking.  That made me feel so uncomfortable and I couldn't stay around him.  He took me by surprised, so I didn't know what to say and I just walked away.  My sister has invited me to their place a couple of times since then, but I declined.  I don't feel comfortable being around them now.  I don't know if I should mention what happened to my sissy or if I should keep quiet.  She loves him so much. 

Does anyone has any suggestions?  Could I be over reacting and this could have been innocent on his part?  Should I just tell her or let it go?
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AppleCrush
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   April 26th 2014, 7:34 am

First, you should always do what you feel is best for you.  If it were me I would have a sit down with the both of them together and explain what happened and how I feel about it.  I would make sure they knew I don't feel comfortable coming around my sister's boyfriend because of how he made me feel.  This would then put the burden where it belong and that is on the boyfriend.  Whatever reaction my sister has is her own business and I would respect her decision if she kicked him to the curve or forgive him.  However, I would make it known he is to never put his freaking hands on me again.  No one can tell what is or isn't a violation to someone else.  You know if he violated you or not.  

Let me ask you this:  Did you give him any signals that it was ok for him to touch you like that?

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OneHundred%
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   April 26th 2014, 11:21 am

My question to SilenceisKey?:  How do you dress when you are around your sister and her boyfriend?
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TaylorMade
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   April 27th 2014, 9:51 am

I would have told my sister time that happened.  Not saying anything makes it seems as if you liked it.
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SilenceisKey?
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   April 27th 2014, 10:21 am

OneHundred% if you're asking if I dress the way I was dressed at the movies when I go to visit my sister's, the answer is I would not be dressed the way I was dressed at the movies.  I would not go to my sisters house like that out of respect.

TaylorMade, why do you say it makes it seems as if I liked it.  Why do you think that????

AppleCrush, thanks for your response.  

Update, I still have not said anything to my sister about this but I did talk to my brother about it and he thinks it was harmless and I shouldn't say anything.  He thinks Joe was just trying to be friendly and make conversation.
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   April 27th 2014, 5:18 pm

Your'e welcome SilenceisKey?  I'm hoping this works out for you and your relationship with you sister remains stronger than ever.

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OneHundred%
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   April 28th 2014, 8:03 pm

SilenceisKey? said:  OneHundred% if you're asking if I dress the way I was dressed at the movies when I go to visit my sister's, the answer is I would not be dressed the way I was dressed at the movies.  I would not go to my sisters house like that out of respect


So why stop and talk with him while you dressed like that and your sister is no where around.  That can be viewed as sending him mix messages.
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   April 29th 2014, 12:39 pm

OneHundred you are not being fair.  He touched her.  If she was butt booty naked, this man had no reason to put his hands on her.  It really how she deals with the situation after that can be harmful.
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   April 30th 2014, 6:38 am

I'm not saying he had a right to touch her.  SilenceisKey? stated she would not go to her sister's house dressed like that.  My question is, why stop and talk with her sister's man dressed like that?  If she truly felt that way about the way she dresses, then she should have said hello and kept going.
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   May 1st 2014, 10:19 pm

Again you are putting this on her and that's not right.  SilenceisKey? good luck to you.
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   May 2nd 2014, 10:31 pm

SilenceisKey?  How did it work out for you?

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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   May 4th 2014, 9:05 am

Thanks everyone for their feedback; I truly appreciate it.  Well I did tell my sister and she was not happy neither was he. She was upset at me for not saying anything and upset with him for making me feel this way.  He was pissed at me & accused me of not wanting her to be happy because I'm so miserable and that he is just a touchy kind of guy (no big deal).  He told my sister he doesn't want me at their house that if she wants to see me, we have to meet out.

So the outcome was exactly the way I imagined it would be and that's why I didn't say anything in the beginning.  I guess I should have kept my big fat mouth shut, but oh well.
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PostSubject: Re: Should I say something or should I stay silent?   May 10th 2014, 7:28 am

Just try your best to work it out with your sister.  She is what truely matters.
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